mrt. 34 i dont know

Ga tau kapan tepatnya, makin kesini makin ngerasa emosi ga stabil. Gampang banget ngeluarin air mata untuk hal sepele dan pun emosi yg gampang bgt ketrigger. Apakah ada kaitannya dengan kebahagiaan? I dont know. 

Makin kesini pula sering kali rindu akan masa lalu, seakan terjebak dengan masa lalu yang menyenangkan. Tertawa lepas sambil berkumpul dengan temen temen, pergi mengikuti kaki melangkah, tak ada ikatan dan ketergantungan. Masa dimana hanya ada aku dan dunia ku.

Apakah orang lain juga merasakan hal yang sama, stuck dan ga bisa move on dengan masa lalunya? 

Lalu pertanyaannya apakah menyesal dengan keputusan ini? I dont know. 

Dulu Sempat bertanya, apa sih tujuan aku hidup didunia ini? Pertanyaan berat, namun sering terlintas pertanyaan itu. Ingat betul kalau dulu senang membuat orang lain bahagia, apapun sebisa mungkin untuk bisa selalu ada untuk orang sekitar, teman dekat dan keluarga. Hingga keputusan besar ku pun kuambil untuk membahagiakan orang lain. 

Pertanyaan yg sering terlontar akhir akhir ini: are you mad? Are you sad? Are you happy?

Jujur ga bisa jawab, karena rasa marah dan sedih itu ada tapi ku tak tau dengan siapa ku harus marah bersedih karena apa? Dan aku lupa bagaimana cara membuat orang sekitarku bahagia, so i dont know either am I happy? 

Tanah hijau,

16/04/20

mrt: 34 - welcome back thought.

Midnight, 12am April 1st 2020.

Can't sleep, my breathe is heavy, tired? For sure, i would like to sleep but im afraid to sleep. Have been 4days like this. The ANXIETY i can say. Realize since this pandemi hits Indonesia, the covid-19.

I can say, it difficult to catch my own breathe. And have a thought that "oh maybe this a heart attack or oh maybe its a silent death..." These thoughts are make me scare, because i feel im not ready for die...not yet make my parent proud, not yet become good mother for my only son....

My eyes are tired, and i need to try to sleep..hey thought "everything will be ok, tomorrow morning you will wake up and be a better mother for your son and the world gonna be better... " 

Good night thought.

a year and half

A year and half after my last post, lots of things happen in my life (for sure, im still human). Because of a friend remind me about my life was, Its kinda nostalgia or reminder. Then I Start to open my old laptop and connect to internet, open tumblr account and find this link again. Almost forget about this all stuff, and even I  was thinking this blog I already closed and delete, but not... :)

Well I give the review about what happen with my route trip:

ROUTE 29
I Always avoid and never planning to tied the knot, NEVER! But what can I say if my destiny, my route that I through will be make a BIG/HUGE/MASSIVE decision to say YES for lets getting married question, even after I ignore it for more than two months. In that time I feel this is not the right time, feel scares, lot of things that make me rethinking again about the answer, lots of tears too. Its not because I feel unsure with the man who asked me, but its me who afraid about the commitment, afraid that I will hurt him, afraid that I will lost my freedom, afraid that I can not be my own self. Too much afraid that I feel in that time. But in the end I say Yes, with reason I have to married if I would like to have a baby. And also with condition I will not treat you as a husband but will treat you as a partner.

Traveling YES...
After up and down drama, finally the happy moment come.... Travel, route trip to ITALY... hahaha... Dream come true, ROME - CASTIGLIONE - VENEZIA - SARDEGNA - CARLOFORTE my GOD, its so beautiful....historical, how come that all building still exist and stay in there for many decade.... It cant say by words, just Drop Jaw moment.... :D

HOBBIES
I guess in this route I start do my hobbies again and trying to focus to make a business. And at the beginning was difficult because no money to start, little bit stressful but slowly getting better and much better...kinda love it but still need more focus and more learn again. Too much ideas and can not (yet) decide which one that I will make it serious...

and I guess that is enough for the recap of my Route 29... hopefully will start again to write in the half of ROUTE 30.....

see you soon...
hakuna matata..

night thought

I can not sleep, my leg is in pain suddenly. This pain make me thinking alots of things in the past about my room, traveling and finally Him....
Now I feel missing my past so much, sweet, sour, sad, happiness, bitter and dark moment that I've been through. And thinking about him I feel my pain become double tonight.


This is my second regret decision that I was made.
I'm regret that I was treat you like a shit in the last time we meet... Even I always say this to you, I will say it again everytime I remember you.... I'm so sorry... I dont know how I can do that to you...
I know I cant rewind that moment, I just can pray for you... I pray that you will find tons of happines and success with your job.


Huff there is nothing more that I can say again... Too much pain and tears now....
Well when I'm ready, I really would like to see you again... And hope that my pray for you become reality.


take care and be healty until we meet again. Thank you silly monkey.

For the longest time

New place, new job but still same life and still me. A dream come true? I can say damn yeah... *big grin* Happy? Yeah, of course... who doesn't? staying in the island who had a lots beach, good wave, good food, beautiful sunrise and sunset that you can enjoyed before or after you go to work everyday... I'll be an idiot if I'm not happy... 

The name is Bali, the place where I'm staying now with new habits which is going to the beach is my big priority at least I must can do swimming and surfing :P 

Cheers for the new place and new adventure of my life...
Blessed you all...

Love..

the link!

Tonight I'm gonna give some link that I usually open every day....looking for a cheap/budget ticket  airline, budget hotel/hostel and also the info about place that I want to visit.

Airlines!
From Indonesia to Indonesia, South-East ASIA and Australia
 
1. www.airasia.com

 
This is a Malaysia airlines who provide a route to South-East ASIA and Australia with a cheap price. Before, they have route to United Kingdom but since two years ago they were closed. So far the promo that they gave always makes me anxious, because its make me want to buy and buy and buy again hahahha...
Liked: First, of course their all promo!!! second, the terminal. They have their own terminal which is a big, clean and comfortable than the other terminal. Hello terminal 3, hi bakmi GM :)
Dislike: Since January, Air Asia passenger must "checked the baggage up to 15kg (IDR 40K)". They don't have option "no baggage" again and that's wasting my money because I never use a baggage, I always keep it on cabin. So I can used that money for pay airport tax... :P

2. www.tigerairways.com

OK, I never use this airlines but I have a story about it. When I go to Phuket and want to go home I buy the tigerairways ticket but then there is a stupid mistake so I don't use the ticket... :( And recently I booked a tiger ticket for my parent so I know a little bit about which one that I liked and dislike. Tigerairways is a Singapore airlines, their route is to Australia, South-East Asia and ASIA-Pacific.
I know someday I will fly with tigerairways soon because...
Liked: they have a new route from Jakarta to Bali and also their promo, return-free+tax and IDR 1,00 flight! how cool is that!
Dislike: when we booked the ticket they will charge us with booking fee... :(


3. www.lionair.co.id

well even lion air is not in the categories cheap airlines but sometimes the price still reasonable if I missed the promo from air asia :P Lion air is an Indonesia airlines who has route to domestic flight around Indonesia and to some ASIA country (Singapore, Malaysia, Vietnam and Saudi Arabia).
Liked: they have a lot time schedule in every destination.
Disliked: I don't like with Lion air attendant, they are not inhospitable.  

ACCOMMODATION!
1. www.hostelbookers.com

I like this web because they give us the cheap hostel with a dorm room. The backpacker usually looking a hostel with a dorm room because all day they will be the outside so they don't need a big room and a fancy facility. It's saving your money.

2. www.agoda.com

And about this web I always using when I'm not traveling alone, because agoda always give you a discount up to 70% and better you booked minimum three days before you go... :) 

last but not least.... 
www.wikitravel.org

For many people choose lonely planet and tripadvisor for their travel guide for me I like use wikitravel its more helpful and simple... :P

TRAIN Info!

The one and only info and schedule about train from many country in different continent by man who traveled around the world using train...I really like this web 'coz very helpful! Help me when I traveling around asia, besides the train in this web also give an info about the bus too...

www.seat61.com

well that's all the web that I always open everyday besides google.com of course :) enjoyed your trip, don't worry if you forgot bring your map...as long you still have eyes to read the sign and mouth for asking.... once again let's get lost!
 

cheers!  

strangers, travelling love story

photo by Christopher Lee

That's Lilin Chen and Suno San, they got marriage on February 15th, 2013 at Tianjin - China. Who are they? They are two strangers were met by another strangers....

So here's behind the story...
Lilin Chen is a real adventure woman from China, she decide move from her country to Indonesia teaching mandarin language at one of school in Jakarta. She got that job from internet. With a lack of her English, she traveling around Indonesia by herself (how cool is that!) and one day she's traveling with my friends.

My friends were not strangers for Me, but Lilin is. She is a stranger that time... I heard about Lilin story from my lovely big mouth (not a metaphor, he's really has a big mouth) Harry...maybe 2 or 3 years ago. (And I forgot when the first time I met Lilin.. hmm... but we several times meet to hang out and talking about things, tattoos and finally for the first time we go traveling together to 1000 islands on 2012).
At that time I working at photography workshop and my office is joining with design school from Singapore. And I met a lot strangers and we became a friends, one of them is Christhoper Lee.

Christopher Lee, he is a "boss" in that school, move to Indonesia from Singapore for this job. Chris is energetic guy, fun and crazy. What's make us became a friends are beer and traveling... hahaha (one day I was surprised that he bought me a booze from Singapore when he back from there, one big bottle!)
At the first I'm kinda shy to talk with him because my English was bad but by the time we talking a lot. From the story then I feel sorry to Chris, coz he don't have any friend in Jakarta to hang around with and I remember with Lilin so I introduce them by facebook message. Chris says that he is an athlete, a bicycle athlete and I don't believe it when he says that but he show me the picture about that. He's sad that he can't bring his bike to Jakarta coz the road in was bad. And I remember that he was trying to matchmaker me with one of his bicycle friends haha he also do the same thing it to Lilin, matchmaker with Suno San and its works....

Suno San. I never meet or knew this guy but as I know that he is Chris bicycle friend at Singapore. He is Japanese, move to Singapore for work. That's it. hahahha

That's a behind the story of Lilin and Suno to knowing each other.... It's unbelievable that I become part of their love story.... I'm so happy.... I'm a stranger also with them but look us now.... became together as a friends and lover..... its all because the magic of traveling...